Kind Words

“Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.” (Dale Carnegie)

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” (Romans 12:18, ESV)

One of the things that I’ve noticed to be fairly common is the statement, “I’m sorry, I didn’t really mean what I said”. Unfortunately, similar things seem to be spoken more and more by far too many people who are in the public spotlight, such as in politics, in the media, in entertainment, in education, and in any number of other fields.

Those who tend to run off at the mouth do so either without thinking or, in many cases, with intention.

Now, there’s one thing about speaking from our emotions and before we stop to think, and I’m pretty sure that most have had that experience at various times. It’s then that we should swallow our pride and, if at all possible, attempt to set things straight. Those whom we originally offended may remember what we said; but, at the same time, they’ll also remember that we made the effort to right the wrong.

On the other hand, there are those who have intentionally made statements that should never have been spoken; yet, they’ve tried to make a point concerning something or someone. Many times, however, the reaction is the complete opposite of what they had originally anticipated. True: there will always be those who agree; but the pushback is so intense from the opposition that they finally, and sometimes almost immediately, recant. Unfortunately, much of the time the apology is insincere, and simply a response intended to save face. It would never have been offered if the majority had agreed, whether right or wrong.

These days it seems as though far too many people think that they can say whatever they think or feel with virtually no consideration for the effect that it has on the listeners. James tells us: “So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!” (James 3:5). And what we hear from them is indicative of what lies within them. Thus, if they spew bitterness, hatred and negativity, it’s simply because, within them, is bitterness, hatred and negativity.

With that being said, there are also multitudes of people who have come to the place of gracious speech. They’ve understood the power and authority that comes with living peaceably with as many people as possible, and they’ve learned how to put it into practice. Calvin Coolidge once said, “I have never been hurt by what I have never said”; and there are many who have learned that, albeit, mostly the hard way. But there’s a world of difference between those who “speak their mind” without concern and those who have learned to consider their words.

There’s something that we need to recognize here: whether our words are laced with hatred and vitriol, or whether they’re gracious, they’ll leave a definite and lasting impression with everyone who hears them.

But there’s really only one way to graduate from vitriol to victory, and that’s through the Lord.

All who have learned to control their tongue have done so through practice; but not all have done it through a change of heart.

Yes, it’s a good thing to have gracious speech; but there’s a guarantee with this. There WILL be times when circumstances will make controlling our tongue difficult at best. And, quite often, the difference between losing it, or being able to maintain just that extra little bit, is the presence of the Lord.

This is something about which books can and have been written; so there isn’t the space nor the time in this post to touch upon any one point in detail. But I just want to present this question to you for your consideration: how do you want people to remember you?

It’ll come two ways.

By our practice, or by His presence.